How to Be Alone: If You Want To, and Even If You Don't (Paperback)
The former Sex & Relationships Editor for Cosmopolitan and host of the wildly popular comedy show Tinder Live with Lane Moore presents her poignant, funny, and deeply moving first book.
Lane Moore is a rare performer who is as impressive onstage—whether hosting her iconic show Tinder Live or being the enigmatic front woman of It Was Romance—as she is on the page, as both a former writer for The Onion and an award-winning sex and relationships editor for Cosmopolitan. But her story has had its obstacles, including being her own parent, living in her car as a teenager, and moving to New York City to pursue her dreams. Through it all, she looked to movies, TV, and music as the family and support systems she never had.
From spending the holidays alone to having better “stranger luck” than with those closest to her to feeling like the last hopeless romantic on earth, Lane reveals her powerful and entertaining journey in all its candor, anxiety, and ultimate acceptance—with humor always her bolstering force and greatest gift.
How to Be Alone is a must-read for anyone whose childhood still feels unresolved, who spends more time pretending to have friends online than feeling close to anyone in real life, who tries to have genuine, deep conversations in a roomful of people who would rather you not. Above all, it’s a book for anyone who desperately wants to feel less alone and a little more connected through reading her words.
About the Author
Lane Moore is an award-winning comedian, writer, actor, and musician. The New York Times called her comedy show Tinder Live “ingenious.” Her comedy and her band, It Was Romance, have been praised everywhere from Pitchfork to Vogue, and her writing has appeared everywhere from The New Yorker to The Onion. She is the former sex and relationships editor at Cosmopolitan, where she received a GLAAD Award for her groundbreaking work expanding the magazine’s queer coverage. She lives in Brooklyn with her dog-child, Lights. You can follow Lane at @HelloLaneMoore on Instagram and Twitter or visit LaneMoore.org.
“Lane Moore is one of the most talented people I know and I’m so glad even more people will be able to read her words.”— Mara Wilson, author of Where Am I Now?: True Stories of Girlhood and Accidental Fame
“How to Be Alone feels like peeling back your best friend’s skull and jumping into her brain. Lane is so open and funny and honest; I never want to be alone if it means I can’t have her with me. What a gift.” — Samantha Irby, New York Times bestselling author of Meaty and We Are Never Meeting in Real Life
“How to Be Alone is like a song that pops up on the radio and lifts your spirits . . . so special, elegant, and true. It’s spectacular and truly personal. This book is with me every day, and it helps so much.”— Caroline Kepnes, author of You, Hidden Bodies, and Providence
“How to Be Alone is the book I wish I had read in my early twenties. I truly believe it would have saved me a world of pain. The moment I met her I felt like I had known her my entire life. This book will make everyone smart enough to read it feel the same exact way.”— Laura Benanti, Tony Award-winning actress
“Within this compassionately told memoir, Moore offers hard-won advice for those looking to get beyond a painful past.” — Publishers Weekly
"Lane Moore turns a dismal childhood into laughs. [Her] story offers insights about the effects of childhood trauma and our capacity for resilience."— The Washington Post
"It is [Lane's] thoughtfulness and compassion that will make How to Be Alone resonate with readers long after finishing the last page . . . Moore’s book is the empathetic friend you’ve been searching for your whole life."— CURVE MAGAZINE
“An irreverent, candidly introspective exploration of toiling with loneliness that will leave readers feeling not so alone.”— Kirkus Reviews
“The essays are whip-smart, pithy, and full of an honest, conversational charm that sets Moore apart.”— Booklist
"One woman's wry, wise, sometimes funny and often melancholy reminder that friends can be demanding and complicating, love is imperfect and obligating, and you can't count on a hard-charging cavalry of people who were just right for you to come riding over the hill and sweep you away."— NPR's Weekend Edition
"The most epic, incredible, soaring parts of your story, are the places where you’re tender, and funny, but also so harrowingly sad and devastated. Your commitment to survival is more than a notion; it’s a balm, an affirmation, an eternal love note, and a sacred love manifestation that starts as a whisper and rises into the atmosphere. How to be Alone gave me closure. What a gift it is to know that there’s another person in the world who’s so brave and true to her spirit that she survived the hardest parts of being alive. Instead of sinking into despair or madness; being waylaid by bitterness or tragedy; or turning the grueling and terrifying dark of isolation against yourself, you’ve transmuted it into a fire so bright that it blazes brilliantly, with a classic, universal humanity. James Baldwin said, “You think your heartbreak is unprecedented in the world, and then you read. How To Be Alone is like that."— Bitch Media
"Honest, hilarious, and deeply intimate. How to Be Alone is a profound first book from a truly talented writer."— Bustle
"[How to be Alone] pulls no punches . . . Readers will find themselves in her stories, and even if they don’t, they will come away from this book having learned something. A great book for all ages but should be required reading for 20-somethings navigating young adulthood."— New York Post
"[A] bracingly honest memoir...Moore is especially equipped to address the taboo of loneliness, along with other adult problems, with hilarity and aptness."— REFINERY 29
"Even if you don’t know Lane personally, she still feels like someone you’ve known for years. And that’s exactly what reading How to Be Alone feels like: having an honest conversation with an old friend."— Hello Giggles
"In funny, super relatable, and smack-you-in-the-face-with-how-thoughtful-it-is prose, Moore talks about crushes, identity, feminism, and finding self-worth when everything inside you is telling you that you kind of suck. Funny enough, How to Be Alone made me feel a lot less alone."— Marie Claire
"Enter Lane Moore, who is the cutest human, creating relatable comedic material that is so raw, you’ll want to cry and cuddle with her— partly because she point-blank states that she craves comfortable, platonic cuddling, and partly because you’ve realized, while reading, how much you crave it, too."— Sometimes Snarky
"It might sound like a downer, but she manages to add a lot of humor along the way."— Bustle
"While Moore is delving into some of the most difficult moments of her life, she does it with wit and humor in a way that makes this book an enjoyable read."— BITCH MAGAZINE
"How to Be Alone by Lane Moore isn’t a self-help book or one about mental illness but I included it because I think you might find some encouragement within the pages of this book."— All the Good Books